50 things the Avengers are Never Alllowed to Do
by Always and a day Love
Summary: The 50 crazy things they will try to do, but shouldn't


50 Things the Avengers are not allowed to do  
1. Tony is not allowed to be left unattended late at night, because he will get bored and go decide to annoy Natasha. When he doesn't find her in her room, he will go to Clint's and wake up both of them. The end result is Tony nearly being maimed with the various weapons the master assassins keep within reach of their bed.

2. The Cookies & Cream Pop-tarts have a note on the side. Read it! Especially Tony! It states that they are the property of the Black Widow, touch and die.

3. Tony is not allowed in the middle of a battle when Clint is trying to focus to play LMFAO and sing he's Hawkeye and he knows it.

4. Tony is not allowed to start a book club with any of the avengers; they are especially not allowed to read Fifty Shades of Grey , Twilight and The Hunger Games. This will lead to a very red and confused Steve, who has no idea about vampires, and long debates about Peeta vs Gale and Jacob vs Edward and the terrible acting of Kristen Stewart.

5. If you ignore this rule, please tell Tony that he can not force them to read aloud especially during Fifty Shades of Grey.

avengers are not allowed to visit schools because it ends up with science teachers quitting, preschoolers taking up archery and several testosterone driven jocks on the ground for looking at Natasha. This is either done by Clint or Nat, herself while Tony laughs hysterically.

is not allowed to set up any of the avengers on dates or order them an exotic dancer.

8. Tony is not allowed to order himself an exotic dancer.

Avengers are not allowed to apply to be on Survivor

10. Tony, Steve and Thor are not allowed to write fan fiction about Clint and Natasha in any context, especially when Natasha and Clint are within hearing range .They also are forbidden from writing about Katniss and Peeta, Lucian, X-men, or Lord of the Rings.

11. The avengers are not allowed to watch How I Met Your Mother or Two and a Half Men. This leads to a very confused Steve and Thor much to the amusement of Clint and Tony and the chagrin of Natasha

12. Tony can not act like Hugh Hefner nor can he quote him

13. Tony can not nominate Natasha to be a Playboy Bunny.

14. Clint can not pummel every man that looks at Natasha, only the creepers.

15. Clint may pummel Tony as long as after word he still has a pulse

avengers may not play Truth or Dare, because it turns into ask the assassins

17. Tony can not sign the Avengers to be apart of the big brother program. It ends with many lawsuits especially from Tony's families

18. The avengers are not allowed to listen to country music. Tony and Clint specifically, are not allowed to sing "I'm still a guy" or "Ticks" within hearing range of Pepper or Natasha. Tony is not allowed to explain what Trace Atkins is singing about in Honktonkbadonkydonk to Steve. Plus , Clint hates Taylor Swift and Tony will play it to annoy him.

19. Tony is not allowed to place any spiders with in sight of Natasha.

20. Tony is not allowed to give Natasha a nickname especially not spidey, web slinger (Spider-Man copyrighted that) or if he wants to get both Clint and Natasha's attention Black Hawk.

21. Tony, Thor, and Steve are not to be given a digital camera. Tony will spy on the rest of the team and take embarrassing photos, especially of Clint and Natasha, which will end up on the internet. Thor will break the camera no matter what he says, and Steve will ask a million times "this really takes photographs"if pictures are required Natasha and Bruce are suitable photographers.

22. Tony is not allowed to take Clint's bow & arrows and Natasha's knives and Widow's bite to annoy them.

23. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to hold Tony's alcohol ransom for their weaponry.

24. Tony is not allowed to place cameras anywhere within the avengers tower.

25. Tony is not allowed to call Matt Damon, Jim Carrey, Christian Bale, Taylor Lautner or Nicolas Cage and ask them to play him in a movie of his life.

26. Tony is not allowed to offer the Avengers up for adoption or say Please Take Them.

27. Tony, Steve, Thor, Bruce and Clint are not allowed to go drinking the same night as Clint's date with Natasha. No matter what Tony tells you, he did know

28. Tony is not allowed to make parodies about "Call Me Maybe", "Payphone" "I am too sexy for my shirt" or " I am Sexy and I know it" with Steve and Thor.

29. Clint is not allowed to be involved in the making of parodies for any reason.

30. Tony is not allowed to suggest that certain love songs fit Clint and Natasha's romance especially any Taylor Swift songs.

31. Steve and Thor are not allowed to listen to Katy Perry or Lady Gaga, which tony will play

32. The avengers are not allowed to go to elementary school's for career day.

33. Tony is not allowed to sell Avengers costumes for Halloween

is not allowed to swear around Natasha because the money that he would have to place in her swear jar would make her a billionaire

35. Tony is not allowed to ask Jarvis what Natasha and Clint are doing and where

avengers are not allowed to play life, monopoly or Jenga

37. Tony is not allowed to start an Avengers strip poker game.

38. Thor is not allowed to watch a football game

39. Tony is not allowed to watch the Proposal or 27 Dress

40. If you ignore this rule, Tony is not allowed to petition Rotten Tomatoes for a higher rating on Katherine Hegel and Sandra Bullock

41. Tony is not allowed to organize an avengers beach vacation, he is also not allowed to require Pepper and Natasha to wear bikinis

42. Tony is not allowed anywhere near Senator Stern and any other members of our U.S. government

43. Tony is not allowed anywhere near any members of foreign government, he is also not allowed to talk to Queen Elizabeth or to take Prince William partying because not only will Kate have a problem with it, but Tony will cause an international incident again.

44. Tony is not allowed to sign the avengers to be apart of the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, or Big Brother. He is also not allowed to watch these shows to search for ideas to deal with his co avengers.

45. Tony is not allowed to set up online dating profiles for the other avengers and call them

Steve: A Spangly 90 year old Virgin  
Natasha: A sexy red head as lethal as the Black Widow  
Clint: Protective Legolas look a like who happened to be hypnotized into having creepy blue eyes last summer who loves Taylor swift ( note again invade you missed it Clint hates Taylor Swift."  
Bruce: A man with a little green monster

Avengers are not allowed to watch Lord of the Rings because they will give each other nicknames Clint "Legolas", Natasha "Eowyn", Tony "Gandalf", Thor "Gimli", Bruce " Pippin".

47. The Avengers are not also allowed to watch the Chronicles of Narnia because all Clint will do is criticise Susan's archery skills, Natasha will critique Peter's combat skills and say Edmund would totally beat him up, Bruce will Hulk-out when Aslan dies, Tony will make wise cracks about the White Witch which he will use as a nickname for Loki. He will call Clint Suie for ever. Thor will throw a Hammer at the tv when Edmund betrays his family. It is just a bad idea, trust me

48. Tony is not allowed to start his own football team, nor is he allowed to ask Natasha to be one of his cheerleaders.

49. Tony is not allowed to go to a Jonas Brothers concert and Say Boo bring out One Direction.

50. Tony is not allowed with in 100 ft. Of one direction, seriously they have a restraining order against him. Natasha and Bruce are not allowed to laugh hysterically when they hear this


End file.
